Saturday, January 29, 2011

Me !

So I made this lil blog thingie in hopes that I can keep up with the things that go on with my life...i mean u know i am such a busy person LOL...haha..no the thought of a blog and being able to open up about things i might not really be able to talk bout is awesome...from relationships and life to travel and fun ! Not to mention my journey in weightloss ! I hope to make new friends along the way that share some of the same interests and might be going through the same things i am. My blog is not going to be perfect,i dont always use periods and i sometimes dont start a sentence how its supposed to. i might skip days or might have a random thought that i post...but its going to be real.

I have been blessed soo much the last year. I married a wonderful man..not to mention sexy as hell..LOL..It was kinda a weird situation. Met him in Oct. of 2009 and married him Jan.16, 2010. Yeah i know, LOL. Im sure we both had our doubts..but it is an amazing feeling being able to grow with someone. I know that being with Mike has helped me grow into a better person. Not to mention he is super smart and teaches me things all the time LOL. Yeah we have our moments, i mean we are still learning each other. For the most part though its the best feeling in the world to know that someone loves me for me...no matter if i dont know some big words or the fact that im FAT...i know that when he says I love you, he means it. Its just a great feeling. 



With the work that Mike is in , I am able to travel around the country with him. ive seen so many places been to over 20 states just in the last year.. Buffalo's roaming...beautiful sunsets...just amazing !! Waiting for his phone to ring..to find out where we go next is great :) its funny though, after all the traveling i have done, the one place i love is Kentucky. Just beautiful ! i really believe that thats where we belong and I hope one day that might happen :) 


As of right now we are in Fayetteville, NC, and OMG i dont like it at all. Cant really pin point a reason i just dont like it. Next Up TN ! Not so bad there, lil country and a lil city, but next.....KENTUCKY !! I really hope those jobs come up soon...its so nice there. As soon as i cross the state line im in AW ! It just feels like home. 

Back home in GA, my mom is hanging in there, i feel bad for leaving when Mike gets a call, but what can i do? As my grandmother says i need to live my life and let things happen the way they are going to. All I think about is getting the call that she is gone. (another blog in its self) I love my mom more then i think she knows..we never really had the relationship that mother daughters have. deep down i know she loves me and thats what matters. 

So upcoming events are kinda exciting. My BFF is getting married !! Feb 13th. its kinda a last min thing. but they have been together for almost 2 years now, I wish them the best ! Im excited that she has asked me to be her Matron of Honor :) oh what to wear LOL. U know that 200 pounds i want to lose? i wish i already did haha...its going to be a pretty wedding i think.... :o)



Jan 16th 2011, i celebrated my one year wedding anniversary. We took a trip to Myrtle Beach, SC for the nit b4 coming here to NC. It was so nice to see the ocean :) Mike even wrote my name in the sand :) sooo sweet...I am so excited to be able to experience life with Mike :o) I hope for many many many more years <3




Ok well my fingers are getting tired..and im all nasty from my leslie sonsone workout haha..so i am going to go....Happy Blogging :)
XoCupcakes&KissesXO
Brandy

Travel.......Gym......and Nasty Looks.........

WOW what a day :) weighed in this morning...down 5 more pounds YAY..i am soo happy for that...i really didn't think this week was a good one..but YAY.. :) lots of water..and Leslie Sansone !!!

I don't want to make excuses oh well...its cause i travel and eat out all the time..NOPE NO MORE... I can make healthier decisions !! This was all my doings and its time to stand up and take responsibility ! Instead of the cheeseburger why not a grilled chicken?? side salad instead of fries? These are just some small changes that come to mind right off the bat..not to mention if i really put some thought into the things that I am putting into my body..at the age of 27 i am at my heaviest....having the blessings of being able to travel, something i have always only dreamed of..and i sit in the hotel room scared to come out and enjoy the world...ashamed of my weight....and the thought of all the looks i will get just by getting out and site seeing.....it reminds me of all the looks i would get as i jammed to my ipod in the gym when all the lil "skinny" gals looked at me in disgust.....this world can be so cruel. Last night as I sat in the hotel room with my husband, he mentioned going out to dinner..and what went through my mind...Will i fit in the booth? Will the chairs be to small? Not to mention OMG what can i wear..i hate the clothes i have...well no i can't say that i hate the clothes....i just don't like my body in them. So.....my husband gets a lil angry and just looks at me and asked "why don't you ever want to go and do anything with me?" OMG that broke my heart...my insecurities are taking over !!!! My husband does not deserve that. I mean don't get me wrong its not always like that...sometimes i could care less..is it just that i'm having a bad day? err so many unanswered questions...Things just have to get better..I cant but myself through this anymore..nor my relationship with my husband.
My Wonderful Husband Mike

Now about my husband.. he supports me in everything i do..he never puts me down, heck i was fat when he met me. So no negativity there. I am living a dream that I honestly thought would never happen..a wonderful husband and a chance to travel and see the world with my own eyes...and i let food take over. I know this blog is kinda all over the place but whatever. These are just thoughts that are running through my mind at this exact moment...i mean thats what a blogs for right??????

Just to mention ....Leslie Sansone is amazing....something u can do in the privacy of your own home...without the looks haha . Right now i am currently jamming on my ipod to Leslie Sansone, Walking For Weight Loss, still working on Mile 1 but hey..atleast im doing it :) 3-5 times a week and OMGoodness..talk about legs hurting... :) i can FEEL THE BURN !!!!

                                            XOcupcakes&kissesXOXO
                                                        Brandy
(posted via WW.com)

food ...... :(

ive never been one to start a blog or a diary and actually stick to it..but i hope this time its different, i am at my heaviest and need to make a change...i am only 27 and there are so many things i would LOVE to do in my life..but at the rate i am going i wont live past 40 and thats if im lucky. i dont know what it is about food...is it really food or am i just that bored? i find myself..sitting there at lunch time planing my meal and out of all the options i try and pick the one with the most food..why am i being so stupid...i know im not the only one out there thats like this...right??? the life im living right now is really weird something i have never done b4 and i hate to say it but i think it might be one reason why i have gained..i mean not to mention im sure it has a lot to do with my choices. living on the road..eating fast food most of the time..unless i am lucky to get a room with away to cook..it sucks and it doesnt do my body any good. :(  there are things in life that i want....and i know that unless i lose weight i might not ever have these things. being as heavy as i am does not help me get prego..which is something that i dream of..... i have been married to a wonderful loving man for a year now..and the thought of bringing in a child to this family is just an awesome feeling...i have to do this for me and my family..i just dont know how :(

(posted on Tuesday Jan, 25 2011 via WW.com)