WOW what a day :) weighed in this morning...down 5 more pounds YAY..i am soo happy for that...i really didn't think this week was a good one..but YAY.. :) lots of water..and Leslie Sansone !!!
I don't want to make excuses oh well...its cause i travel and eat out all the time..NOPE NO MORE... I can make healthier decisions !! This was all my doings and its time to stand up and take responsibility ! Instead of the cheeseburger why not a grilled chicken?? side salad instead of fries? These are just some small changes that come to mind right off the bat..not to mention if i really put some thought into the things that I am putting into my body..at the age of 27 i am at my heaviest....having the blessings of being able to travel, something i have always only dreamed of..and i sit in the hotel room scared to come out and enjoy the world...ashamed of my weight....and the thought of all the looks i will get just by getting out and site seeing.....it reminds me of all the looks i would get as i jammed to my ipod in the gym when all the lil "skinny" gals looked at me in disgust.....this world can be so cruel. Last night as I sat in the hotel room with my husband, he mentioned going out to dinner..and what went through my mind...Will i fit in the booth? Will the chairs be to small? Not to mention OMG what can i wear..i hate the clothes i have...well no i can't say that i hate the clothes....i just don't like my body in them. So.....my husband gets a lil angry and just looks at me and asked "why don't you ever want to go and do anything with me?" OMG that broke my heart...my insecurities are taking over !!!! My husband does not deserve that. I mean don't get me wrong its not always like that...sometimes i could care less..is it just that i'm having a bad day? err so many unanswered questions...Things just have to get better..I cant but myself through this anymore..nor my relationship with my husband.
I don't want to make excuses oh well...its cause i travel and eat out all the time..NOPE NO MORE... I can make healthier decisions !! This was all my doings and its time to stand up and take responsibility ! Instead of the cheeseburger why not a grilled chicken?? side salad instead of fries? These are just some small changes that come to mind right off the bat..not to mention if i really put some thought into the things that I am putting into my body..at the age of 27 i am at my heaviest....having the blessings of being able to travel, something i have always only dreamed of..and i sit in the hotel room scared to come out and enjoy the world...ashamed of my weight....and the thought of all the looks i will get just by getting out and site seeing.....it reminds me of all the looks i would get as i jammed to my ipod in the gym when all the lil "skinny" gals looked at me in disgust.....this world can be so cruel. Last night as I sat in the hotel room with my husband, he mentioned going out to dinner..and what went through my mind...Will i fit in the booth? Will the chairs be to small? Not to mention OMG what can i wear..i hate the clothes i have...well no i can't say that i hate the clothes....i just don't like my body in them. So.....my husband gets a lil angry and just looks at me and asked "why don't you ever want to go and do anything with me?" OMG that broke my heart...my insecurities are taking over !!!! My husband does not deserve that. I mean don't get me wrong its not always like that...sometimes i could care less..is it just that i'm having a bad day? err so many unanswered questions...Things just have to get better..I cant but myself through this anymore..nor my relationship with my husband.
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| My Wonderful Husband Mike |
Now about my husband.. he supports me in everything i do..he never puts me down, heck i was fat when he met me. So no negativity there. I am living a dream that I honestly thought would never happen..a wonderful husband and a chance to travel and see the world with my own eyes...and i let food take over. I know this blog is kinda all over the place but whatever. These are just thoughts that are running through my mind at this exact moment...i mean thats what a blogs for right??????
Just to mention ....Leslie Sansone is amazing....something u can do in the privacy of your own home...without the looks haha . Right now i am currently jamming on my ipod to Leslie Sansone, Walking For Weight Loss, still working on Mile 1 but hey..atleast im doing it :) 3-5 times a week and OMGoodness..talk about legs hurting... :) i can FEEL THE BURN !!!!
XOcupcakes&kissesXOXO
Brandy
(posted via WW.com)
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